I was in my house and my hands dropped a ball I was holding and it fell to the floor. Instead of picking it up, I tabled a Vote of No Confidence in my hands.
The rest of my body voted but they decided that it was probably best if I didn’t cut off my hands, so I didn’t, but the ball was still on the floor.
So, I thought I might try and kick the ball, in the hope that there was a ramp or a spring or something nearby that might send the ball flying back into the air and then it might bounce around a bit and maybe land back in my hands.
So, I kicked the ball but the kick was a bit pathetic really and the ball missed the ramp and the springs and instead it fell down a hole.
And the people – the people who live under my house - were quite surprised when this ball landed on their heads. And some of them were delighted to have the ball and some of them were very angry indeed.
And they couldn’t decide whether to keep the ball or throw the ball back out of the hole. So, they held a vote, the people who live under my house, and just about half of them voted to keep the ball, and roughly half voted to throw it out the hole.
But it was very hard to tell which of the halves was the bigger or louder half, because some of the people had decided not to vote because they didn’t even know there was a ball, so the people were a bit confused and quite stuck really.
So, I decided to go down the hole to get the ball back, but as I went down the hole the entirety of my body came with me, including my hands.
And the people, the people who live under my house, were quite surprised when me and my hands landed on their heads. And some of them were delighted to have me in the hole, and some were very angry indeed.
Regardless, I was now a bit stuck really because there we all were; me, my hands, the ball, the people who live under my house, all down this hole, none of us really knowing what to do next. And then someone knocked on the door.
And that just made things worse because there we were; me, my hands, the ball, the people who live under my house, and we couldn’t decide what to do about the knocking even though we knew we needed to do something.
The people voted and roughly half of them wanted to climb out the hole and answer the door and the near enough half of them wanted to stay very still and quiet and just wait for the knocking to go away.
Regardless, I couldn’t decide either, because my hands were now holding the ball again and if I tried to climb out of the hole to answer the door, I would’ve had to drop the ball again and that was the thing that started this whole mess in the first place.
So, we were all stuck; me, my hands, the ball, the people, the hole, and the knocking kept on going and no-one was doing anything about it. And then the hole shrugged and decided to go an answer the door itself.
So, the hole slid away, like a black spotlight, across the floor towards the door, leaving the rest of us behind. We all looked at each other; me, my hands, the ball, the people, and everyone was saying “What is happening?” as we were plunged into total, abject, and utter darkness.
And then the hole answered the door. There, at the threshold, was The Entirety of Human Existence; Past, Present and Future, Everything that Has Happened, Is Happening, and Will Happen.
And The Entirety of Human Existence; Past, Present and Future, Everything that Has Happened, Is Happening, and Will Happen said to the hole;
“Do you wanna play out?”
And the hole glanced behind itself, just for a moment, then it shrugged and said;
“Yeah alright.”
THE END